Love?

I'm in love with the idea of love and that makes me a horrible person. I've had true love, and I threw it away. And it was not just that. I tortured a heart, I lied and I didn't even know about that. I used to think that feeling unloved is the worst feeling, but it's not. To be loved and to be unable to love back, that's the worst feeling. I need to learn to love; truly, deeply, madly..someone. Not a feeling, but a person. Help.